Sex in Court
(E4. Thursday. 10PM)

“If no-one’s interested in your life, then you obviously don’t have one”. Well, according to Paris Hilton, anyway. And it’s a philosophy seemingly shared by the participants E4’s Sex In Court – a rabble of shameless oddities who agree to have their sex lives scrutinised and debated in front of a mass television audience.

But what Paris and the Court participants don’t realise is that there’s a glaring difference between your life and your sex life. And that interest in the latter proves very little about the former.

So what has happened so far on Sex In Court? Well, you may be surprised to read that there has yet to be any real sex in court. Although, E4 have come pretty close – the jury (and the leering audience) have been treated to a rather steamy home video. If television has ever come closer to showing unsimulated sex in a court, then I’ve been rather fortunate in its avoidance.

But the video wasn’t shown just to titillate the audience. Oh no. It was a crucial piece of evidence. You see, Joanne had brought her boyfriend Ashley before the court, complaining that he’d secretly filmed one of their sex sessions, and had shown the footage to his mates.

So both parties were thoroughly cross examined (Well, not quite – Joanne claimed to be ‘devastated and humiliated’ that Ashley’s friends had been shown the footage, yet she had no qualms about letting the E4 audience see it), the jury (twelve ordinary people, we’re told. I have my doubts) returned a verdict, and the judge passed an appropriate sentence.

Taste issues aside, Sex In Court is a nasty little specimen. For a start, it’s victim to rather dire editing. During their deliberation the jury constantly refer to things said but (thanks to terrible editing) not shown. Call me old fashioned, but before I pass judgment on someone, I’d like to see all the evidence.

Which is exactly why I'll wait until the end of the series before I pass verdict on Sex In Court. After all, it would be a tad unfair to write the programme off as pure and unmitigated tasteless filth... wouldn't it?